Advice I Wish Someone Would Have Given Me as a First Time Mom
Motherhood can feel overwhelming. Being a new mom and taking care of a newborn baby comes with a large learning curve. You don’t know what questions to ask until your in the thick of it. You don’t know what you don’t know! Here are some things I experienced as a first time mom that you probably won’t learn in a baby prep course. Some lessons I had to figure out myself and other advice was given to me from other experienced moms that I’m so grateful for and want to pass on to you.
Note: Some of the links below are affiliate links but all of the opinions are my own. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. I’m referring you to my favorite things and other top recommendations for Moms. By you shopping through these links I may collect a small commission without you paying a penny more. I greatly appreciate your support of me, my family, and this blog!
Advice for first time moms
You might hear that breastfeeding is natural. Yes, breastfeeding is natural in the sense that it is a miracle that your body can produce breastmilk and knows exactly what to do. However, it is definitely not intuitive. You and your baby will both learn how to breastfeed.
You’ll probably wonder - “how will I know when my milk comes in?” You will know because it will likely feel uncomfortable.
If you breastfeed your baby, you will be very sticky, all the time for the first few months. It takes about six weeks for your breastmilk supply to regulate and especially during that time just expect that you will probably smell like breastmilk.
When you have a let down during a breastfeeding session, the let down happens on both sides. This means that while you are feeding your baby on one side, you will also have breastmilk come out the other side (this is your let down). It generally won’t keep flowing on that side after your let down - only on the side that you are feeding your baby. CATCH THAT LET DOWN! I built up a healthy freezer stash solely from collecting the let down on the opposite side I was feeding. If you don’t catch it it’s basically wasted milk. You can catch your let down with the Haakaa or Elvie Curve.
We always hear about pregnancy hunger and eating for two, but let me tell you, breastfeeding hunger is wayyyy more intense that pregnancy hunger! You will also be SO thirsty when breastfeeding
You will undergo substantial hormone changes post-birth. Estrogen and progesterone, which are at all time highs during your pregnancy, suddenly crash. Oxytocin increases, which helps the uterus contract and prevent excess postpartum bleeding, and prolactin increases, which helps your body produce breastmilk. All of these hormones can leave you feeling all sorts of ways. Know that it is completely normal to anxious or overwhelmed, to cry or have mood swings. Give yourself lots of grace and ask for help when you need it. Generally these symptoms resolve in a week or two.
Newborns are active and very noisy sleepers. I remember wondering if we brought home a baby or a zoo! Just because you hear your baby making noises does not mean he or she is awake. Try to keep yourself from picking them up and waking them during the night unless they are crying or it’s time to feed.
It might seem like your baby doesn’t like the swaddle, but stick with it. While in the womb your baby is all snuggled up in the fetal position. The swaddle helps mimic the womb and prevent your newborn’s natural startle reflex, which can cause them to wake suddenly. The swaddle may also mimic your mommy snuggles to your baby and keep them calm.
It’s okay to ask for help. When your friends and family offer you help, they really do want to help you! My brother and sister-in-law offered to stay overnight our second night home to help with the baby. I didn’t want them to feel obligated or inconvenience them so I first turned down the offer. Luckily my other sister-in-law who had two babies before me was there too and basically forced me to say yes to the help.. thank goodness, because that night led with me back in the hospital with postpartum preeclampsia. My husband came with me and my brother and sister-in-law kept the baby overnight until we could get to her. I realize this is a more extreme example, but even the small things that people do for you will help you tremendously as a first time mom learning to adjust to life with a new baby.
Make time for yourself. It’s not selfish. You can’t pour from an empty cup. It doesn’t have to be anything big; take take time for a long hot shower or sip your coffee in the morning sun. Though the moments might seem short or few and far between, take and enjoy them when you can.
It’s okay to cry over spilled milk, but have perspective. It’s just milk, mama. As long as you and your baby are safe and healthy and happy (most of the time), you’re doing a great job and life is good.
YOU WERE MADE TO BE YOUR BABY’S MAMA. God chose you for this baby, and chose your baby for you. No one knows what your baby needs better than you do. Trust your instincts and lean into the wild beautiful adventure of motherhood!
